Week One, Day Two

After trying on bridesmaid dresses for two hours on Sunday, I felt like a sack of potatoes. A lumpy, big-boobed sack of potatoes. I HATED the way I looked in almost all of the dresses except one. And that's because it was just flattering enough to hide everything that I loathe about my body.

So I said to myself. "Self... you are NOT going to wait until Tuesday (one of the pre-agreed upon workout days with hubs). You are going to get up tomorrow morning and get on that treadmill if it kills you AND you're going to do it on Tuesday too.

Fast forward to this morning. I stumble out of the bed, fall, get my yoga pants and workout shirt on, throw my hair up in a ponytail - all before the crusties are wiped out of my eyes! 

Fan on. TV on, muted. Shoes tied. 

Let's do this shit.

And I do. But anxiety levels are high because I keep getting the flux of Monday Morning Work Emails and every single one tenses me up a bit more. I start thinking "shit shit shit. I should be working not working out." 

And that's one of the biggest reasons I have failed at this whole getting health thing in the past. Because I put everyone else before myself. And I rationalize it. Justify it. But today, I had to hit "dismiss" on my apple watch to not fall into the trap. I kept going until it was over.

After I'm done, I recognize the difference in our cheapo treadmill versus the gym's but whatever, I got my ass up on it, didn't I? I mark a big X on my workout calendar. 

I attempt to make a new fangled whey shake using espresso and my whey and almond/coconut milk. Ends in disaster. I throw it down the drain and resort back to my main caffeine source which will be the next habit I break so aptly named (Operation: Stop Drinking Monster Energy Drinks). 

Will report back in tomorrow. 

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