Week Five, Day Two

Here we are, day two of week five. I'll be honest, I stepped on the scale yesterday morning hoping to see that the number I started with (the one that really disgusted me) had dropped. Only to be disappointed that it had not only NOT dropped, but risen. 

W.T.F.

I was pissed, frustrated and disappointed to say the least. Why wasn't I seeing a damn thing if I'd been working my ass off the last five weeks? Not even a single pound lost?! 

It's hard for me to lose weight because of a few things that I DO need to remember. Because of some hormone and "lady" problems - my only choice for birth control is the depo provera shot. Literally, my doctor and I have gone through every other method including no method at all and ruled them all out. (Kay, this is getting a little too deep for me...) The depo shot is my only chance at a low-pain, protective lifestyle but unfortunately, it has a nasty side effect that causes women to gain weight and for some women (lucky me) makes losing weight very difficult.

I also have endometriosis and PCOS which ALSO make it difficult to lose weight. So I'm constantly fighting an uphill battle. I know it can be done. I've done it before. As have many women who face the same issues I do. 

Part of my problem is my eating habits. While I don't eat TERRIBLE and I can't even tell you the last time I had "fast food," we don't eat great either. So I guess it's time to pull out the ole calorie counting app. 

I changed up today's workout from my C25k to the elliptical and was surprised to learn that I burned just as many (even a little less) than the C25k and yet I felt as if I worked twice as hard. What da fuck? 

This whole workout thing is getting kind of cray cray and it's messing with my emotions. But every day, every week that passes, even if things aren't changing on the OUTSIDE, I know they have to be changing on the inside. I have to believe that no matter how bad the outside looks, it's looking better and better on the inside. 

I have to believe that or everything will crumble down around me and I'll quit. Because from where I sit/stand/run - I've made zero progress on the losing weight front. 

The best part about today? I got to try out the hydromassage they offer at the VIP level of the membership. It was glorious.

Motivation to up the package. If I hit 8 weeks, that will be my reward. 

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